Relationship therapy

Relationship work is about slowing down, de-escalating, clarifying, and creating more space to connect with each other about what’s important to you. It’s about creating new patterns to feel each other, to care for each other and to celebrate together. It’s about connection.

My approach blends attachment based, Emotionally Focused Therapy to understand relationship patterns and strategies to shift. I am influenced by Stan Tatkin’s model, which focuses on secure functioning and a relational-somatic perspective. The work balances two pieces. First I help clarify your experience in a relational way. We’ll hold a new space to make room for that experience. Second we’ll look at the relational patterns underfoot that cause disconnection. We can figure out the dance and create new footwork.

  • Focus on being there for each other, moving through stuck patterns and focusing on emotional connection.

  • Conflict doesn’t need to feel terrible. Though this doesn’t mean it’ll be easy, it can be productive. Conflict creates growth and bring you closer together.

  • Aim for differentiation, togetherness, autonomy and mutuality defined by what works for the two of you.

  • Interpersonal skills like communication, like listening, like speaking from the heart, like holding each other.

  • Inclusive of exploring power/privilege, dynamics and expectations that dampen your relationships and diminish your aliveness. Let’s create what you want.

  • I specialize and love supporting queer couples.

  • open relationships

I can help with…

  • improving conflict

  • trust & security

  • staleness & re-sparking

  • queer couples

  • codependency

  • sexual topics

  • open relationships & ethical non-monogamy

  • infidelity

  • conscious uncoupling

  • other close relationships: friends, family, queer platonic

Approaches

attachment based

Emotionally-Focused Therapy (EFT)

family systems theory

Developmental Model

sex positive

kink allied

Recommended books

Monsters in Love ~ Resmaa Menakem

Wired for Love ~ Stan Tatkin

Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence ~ Esther Perel

Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy ~ Jessica Fern

Come as You are ~ Emily Nagoski

The Birth of Pleasure ~ Carol Gilligan